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Alcohol Legs

A Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a blonde lady who is sitting by herself. Man: “May I buy you a cocktail?” Lady: “No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs.” Man: “Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?” Lady: “No, they spread.”

Zing!

David :: Mar.14.2006 :: Jokes :: 1 Comment »

You might be a swinger if…

I was digging through my inbox and found this joke in an old fossil of an email. Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

You might be a swinger, if…

your coworkers are convinced you have no social life because you always change the subject when they ask about your weekend.
when your coworkers talk about their sex lives, it takes a real effort not to yawn.
your guy friends invite you to a strip club and you ask if it would be ok to bring your wife
you’ve got a bunch of pictures of the two of you in a hotel room wearing brightly colored wristbands.
your kids see your online Christmas card list and want to know who are “two4fun”, “allwaysready”, “carresusboth”.
your girlfriend wonders why you have both birth control pills and condoms in your purse.
your Saturday night babysitter wonders why mommy already had her coat on when she comes out of the bedroom.
your boss wonders why you’re going to Orlando or Las Vegas “in the middle of summer for God’s sake!”
you both wonder if the sexy lady who just walked past you would like to mess around.
you make plans to meet a “straight” couple at a nice restaurant, and realize you have absolutely nothing you can wear.
the drugstore clerk wonders what you’re going to do with four bottles of Scope, three-dozen condoms, and five bottles of Astroglide.

And the best way to tell that you might be a swinger is…

your neighbors wonder why they aren’t invited to any of your parties. And why most of your guest arrive carrying pillows, towels, and overnight bags!

Tags: hotwives, wifesharing, swinging, milf, sexblogs

David :: Jan.08.2006 :: Jokes, Swinging :: 1 Comment »

30 things porno producers would have us believe

Recently came across this great list on the Porn City News site: 30 things porno producers would have us believe. Here are a few of my favorites (they’re all pretty funny though):

9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding fine.

21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

25. When a woman is sucking a man’s cock, it’s important for him to remind her to “suck it”.

David :: Feb.24.2005 :: Jokes, Porn Industry :: No Comments »