New York Press: A White Woman Explains Why She Prefers Black Men
In a recent column in New York Press,
I want black men. They want me. We look at one another and exchange a visible frisson of sexual energy in the lingering glances. And our attraction is based first on race. We are not those couples who “happen to fall in love” with someone of a different race or more purposefully come together but out of some greater sense of interracial understanding and respect. Not as politically-correct men and women do we seek one another out. The Internet has made it a lot easier for us to find each other now. Men advertise: ebony seeks ivory. Women write: seeking tall, dark, and handsome. Very dark. We are not the same people who say: Race is not important. It is important to us. We have race-specific desires.
Even in a time when nearly 40 percent of single Americans have dated outside their race, that deliberate seeking of the specific other makes some people, especially black women, damned mad.
We are what they denigrate and castigate: white women and black men who choose one another because of our racial differences. They resent our taking their men. Black men are two and a half times more likely to marry a white woman than a black woman is to marry a white man. Black women can point to that statistic in justifying their wrath. But in truth, black sisters, we’re after the sex, not the ring—and these guys aren’t the marrying kind anyway.
Yes, the sex!
After you enjoy the full column, please let me know your comments!
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Posted by David | Mar. 09, 2007 | Posted in Interracial | 7 Comments »
I think that’s cool. I’m a 20-year old black kid that loves sex.
If some white women prefer black guys,thats great. There’s nothing wrong in having sex outside your race. You can’t make a general perception of
“Mature black men have it over mature white men in the sex department.” Now if the white guys,the ones that she met are letting themselves go,by all means i can understand why you look elsewhere. She is in a small demography
,so that logic is flawed,especially,as she even admitted,she wasn’t involved in the middle and lower class,iirc.
Thats catagorizing a race is better in one aspect of life than another. Just like the misconception that black penises are so much larger than white penises or that white guys are smarter than black guys or African-americans are a bunch of thugs. Even the common persona,as in sports,where black guys can’t play quarterback;which is nonsense;or that white guys can’t jump and play basketball.
The comment “these guys aren’t the marrying kind anyway”tends to lean toward that older black guys who fuck well only can do that and thats all they could offer in this relationship. While sexual activities is whats being offered when a rendevous occurs,there’s a lot more to that person. Who’s to say how that older black man can take care of a family. Hell,there’s as many black grandparents who have been together and fathered generations as white grandparents. Now,are they happy,thats another story.
There’s more to a relationship than sex,although if one partner is lacking in his or her ability to please the other,you bet they could be looking for it elsewhere. Thats why communication is important.
There’s plenty of white guys who love having sex with black women,consequently the black women seek it out. Many have the booty and are aggressive,yet you can find that in white women also. I’ll tell you what,mixed raced women are stunning,whether its black and white,phillipino and chinese or mexican and white. It used to be kids got made fun of if there parents weren’t the same race and they looked different. Presently,i may be wrong,but its natural and commonplace.Some of the most beautiful ladies are of mixed descent.
Its apparent that her dealings with white men her age or older has turned her off to younger white men who would love to be involved with her.If you don’t have enough patience,than the best things in life won’t occur.She is the one who suggested that these black guys aren’t the marrying type,bachelors for life it seems,while being the best gentleman. Having manners and treating a lady as you would want to be treated are only fair. If she was only after the sex,as she stated,than why go through the romantic aspects,unless she’s looking to be courted or be treated to an evening of making love gingerly. I imagine many men wouldn’t want to be involved with a therapist of any type,as they would judge her to being overbearing and a know-it-all because of her occupation.
Life experiences are just that and her own.I’ll have to read the last paragraph again but it appeared her revolution to them wasn’t at all a suprise. Either that dealt with how they perceived her or they were doing the same thing.
I think your comments are all very valid. Of course, since she’s a columnist, she’s going to try to create polarization on an issue. What I think is great about the piece, no matter what the motivation or reality, is her honesty and frankness about a topic that I think often gets skirted around.
I think the last paragraph is pretty much a slap in the face to Black women and white men. I don’t see how it can be seen as anything else. Honesty to some – mean spirited bragging to others.. I dated two African American ladies before I settled down with my wife and it never had anything to do with sticking it in the face of white women. Susan Bakos, you’re an ass..
My wife loves black men too :-)
My father is a white man who only dates black women and knowing him as well as I do I see it as an expression of a few issues that Ive identified him as having. Something a little beyond a matter of taste that only someone who knows him well could put a finger on. I won’t get into the particulars but this woman reminds me of that. Someone escaping their past experiences and maybe overcompensating just a bit. There is nothing really wrong with that but it just seems very familiar to me.
I don’t see anything in her column to suggest that maybe she’s just had bad luck with white men over 40 or that maybe active and interesting white males are simply not pursuing her. However I do detect something in her column that suggests she’s trying to put her nails on the chalkboard and see if she can provoke a reaction. Imagine a New York sex writer doing that! I’m shocked! Shocked!
I am a white bi male who loves black men and white women. What could be better than the two together? I think black men and white women are both gorgeous.